Airbag Driving Academy™

Drinking and Driving

2011-03-21T23:47:00.000-07:00

Being responsible drivers and driving instructors, this is what we end up doing when shooting vodka or drinking beer is out of the question...

I believe you should do the same too if you're planning to drive.

THIS IS A COMMUNITY SERVICE MESSAGE BROUGHT TO YOU BY AIRBAG DRIVING ACADEMY™.

No instructors, poor innocent bystanders or students were harmed in the production of this clip....

...unless Calvin's secretly diabetic.

Limited Editions

2011-03-04T09:35:00.000-08:00

It's like this folks. We ain't for sale. Ever since Ed poured out his wallet to buy the last idiot on the shelf...

We're now an exceptionally rare protected species.

SO TAKE CARE OF US. We love you. KTHKXBAI

Getting It On Again

2011-01-24T02:17:00.001-08:00

Somehow, I think that this is going to work...

...and then fall apart.

Let it Snow

2011-01-24T02:05:00.001-08:00

We're back. Hope you enjoy the new banner.

Christmas is over, but who the hell cares? It can't snow in Malaysia anyway!

...or can it?

You Monkey

2010-05-23T02:57:00.000-07:00

We're BACK with a short message from on of our qualified instructors, Scott Roger Thomas.

3 monkeys escaped from the zoo... one was found at uptown McD ransacking the garbage. Another was found in the One Utama GSC watching clash of the titans. The last one was found reading this.

Now, back to the REAL content.

Re:Programmed

2009-10-19T04:41:00.000-07:00

HIDDEN MANUAL FOR CASIO FX-570 ES CALCULATORS

This manual was not published by Casio as it contains hidden features of the fx-570 ES that allows you to store formulae and data inside it.

WARNING: YOUR DEVICE WARRANTY IS VOID UPON INSERTION OF ANY FOREIGN MEDIA.

To access the service, open the hidden latch at the top and insert a MicroSD containing your data in .CSV format. Maximum size of data should be 22KB, or 2000 values, whichever comes first.

Press the MODE key followed by the M+ key. You should get a screen that says: (note: this will only function if a card is present in the slot)

Keys 1, 2, and 3 map to the three card functions. 1 is to view details, 2 is to reformat and 3 is to overwrite the memory.

Key 1 allows you to view the empty space in the card.

Key 2 provides formatting functions. The Casio fx-570 ES models are capable of formatting cards to ext2, ext3 and FAT32 file systems. Do bear in mind that formatting will erase ALL DATA present on the card.

Function 3 is to overwrite the calculator's internal memory with a fdifferent operating system (OS) . Currently, there are no uses for this function. However, there are plans to port the Linux kernel to CASIO calculators and calculators of other models.

WARNING: Use this at your own risk. Casio, Daniel Anthony and Airbag Driving Academy™, including it's Qualified Instructors are NOT responsible for any damages, reversible or irreversable to your calculator. The above parties are also not to be held responsible if your calculator is not allowed to be brought into the examination hall.

Tale From The Toilet

2009-10-01T05:03:00.000-07:00

One day an object fell from the sky and hit me smack in the balls. Kian Hoong shouted damn loud cuz his banana split too!! After everything that happened, it seems so fun and nice. It was fun having Midna over over as we played Twilight Princess, and nice of her to cook dinner. Half way into cooking, he felt the urge to get rid of some crap, but he didn't do so. Pussy. I just took the trouble to get it done ASAP. Then Daniel took a porno* and ran into the toilet and did as fast as he could. He then did everything and it seemed to be like rojak**. I couldn't believe my eyes! Midna made a plate of rojak! But how? She just chuckled (you guessed it...sexily.). Yea that's right. you know what i'm talking about. As usual no one understood my gibberish. I give up. Suddenly there was a loud BOOM! OMG IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT! Then Daniel said: "Shit Happens!!". Then suddenly he felt like going to the toilet to shit, so i need to find a public toilet in Chinatown, KL*** which is very dirty. So Midna threw the dirty clothes into the washing machine and sat beside me. She'd be gone in the Twilight Realm for 2 weeks.****

*Daniel is the cleanest among these guys. He never watches porn because he dosen't like it. Edward's just being jealous he isn't like that.

**Rojak is a Malaysian dish of mixed fruits and vege with a spicy tangy sauce. Also used as a term to describe something that's very jumbled up

***KL - Kuala Lumpur. Capital of Malaysia. Very knocked-up city with scattered red-light districts and dumpsites

****This is gonna be the last time that Calvin ends the story for a while...

First of Many

2009-10-01T03:58:00.000-07:00

We write all sorts of wierd stories by contributing random paragraphs and lines, each having a weak link with the last one and in the end put it all together. In the end we come up ith a really bombastic piece of work, and here's our first.

I've colour coded the entries to the authors as shown below

Scott Daniel Edward Hoong Calvin

2 Days into our journey, the van ran out of gas. We were stranded. After an hour a b**** walked to me and asked for help because she is so thirsty. I go to 7 Eleven to buy 7-Up but no stock so I go to SpeedMart 99. Midna scanned all my items sexily. She smiled at me and said sexily, "That'll be 59.99!" I paid her. She then chuckled sexily. Ater keeping all the items in a plastic bags (sexily), she sexily closed the counter and floated across the room sexily. She glanced at me sexily through her right eye. Her left eye was covered by the fused shadow she was wearing. Midna followed me sexily everywhere. Finally I asked her, "So why are you following me?". She grinned sexily and said, "Well, I'm feeling pretty attached to you...hee hee hee." Laughing with an evil gesture, we immediately plan an assination on him. Squee, Spleen and Spoon took the initiative to plant bmbs with barrels filled with blood. As soon as Kardel took out the leader, the troops came running out of their barracks and that's when the mines exploded. All the soldiers had the shit scared out of them. I didn't care. I just continued forward and saw the scene. It was as if Hiroshima happened again. The devastation was worse than a shitstorm. I couldn't see any hope in the scene. All was lost. I found an unspent grenade on the ground. I pulled the pin and threw it behind me. Midna screamed sexily, "What the hell are you doing?!". "Getting rid of...uninvited guests." I replied. She gasped sexily, and warped us out of there before any shadow beasts could get to us. Yes, sexily. Then Kian Hoong came out from the box without wearing anything and asked, "If I put a bomb into her bra what will happen? She replied "I don't know." Then Kian Hoong revealed the answer and said "Volcano Split!". Then he asked again, "What if I put a bomb into his underpants?" And he said: "Banana Split!" He laughed all the way. It will be a choice of life, Alive or dead and all that had happened will end. Your life will depend on what choice you make. It wasn't long before he realised a nuke was en route. Midna looked really scared now, and sexy, but Solid Snake saved us. Metal Gear managed to take the nuke. Midna just looked sexily at me and warped us home. And we lived Happily (and Sexily) ever after.

Crash Test Dummy

2009-09-30T03:03:00.000-07:00

Okay folks. Boss here talking. This is the dump*web*site where we place everything nonsensical we come up with in our lives as a class on our journey towards SPM.

We write crap and talk crap all the time, and so we wanna share it with the world, and probably give you some tips on how to take some folks past their boiling point. We love being high, and if you do, you've come to the right place. As a class, we're a bunch of crazy people who love each other even though we fight alot. It's how we get along in today's society.

So enjoy everything we have here, and feel free to use it. Acknowledge us though! Don't forget!

Daniel